Burning like a candle..

It is a rainy afternoon.Just like so many others these days! Its been pouring constantly!

Hving mentioned rains, I cant fail 2 mention how much I luv the rains!how the site of the whole envornment draped in green quilt entices me!how much I long 2 c the rain drops dripping of the greenies.neways this is not abt rains!

I was sittin in my home house arrested by my mom as south Gujarat is on flood alert( a thing tht happens every monsoon!)hvin nothing else to do..i thought of making candles!after much effort..i gathered the requisites and sat at my mission.

I made a beautiful red candle in a tiny glass bowl. It looked beautiful n I was proud of it. It took a few mints 4 it 2 dry n solidify..but those moments really did test my patience!

Just as I was getting exasperated..thr it was! My beautiful red candle!

I scrutinized it , decorated it with glitter, gave final touched to its wick..i cudnt wait to light it! To see how beautiful it wud look glowing in the dark!excited!! I took it 2 my bedroom. Darkened the room and bought my lighter almost hopping at my “constructive“way of passing time!i lit it..Just then.. my fone rang! It was Sheila aunty..my friend Madhus mom.

Madhu and m hv been frds since 1^st grade. We did our schooling together. Being the only girl child in her family, she was 1 pampered brat! All her wishes were commands to her parents and her 2 elder brother.She has always been the apple of everyones eye! Confident, pretty, smart..she was every guys dream 2! It was when v were 15 tht she met

Rahul. Rahul was in the second year of his graduation. While Madhus family was filthy rich..Rahul was just about well-off. They..for some reasons which I shall never comprehend!...fell in luv.Against all odds,she wud meet him. He wud manage funds to buy her gifts.Rahul was so simple! I duno wat she saw in him! Anyways…

Like usual…Madhus parents did not approve of their relation.but she was too much in luv 2 care abt all tht. Her relation with it kept strengthening..by the time she was 17..she was sure she wanted 2 marry him!on her 18nth birthday, she eloped and married Rahul. Her parents shocked at this step of hers..now had no choice or say. They did her “vidai” and she left with rahul. To where??nobody knows! Occasionally she wud give a call to me . I learnt they didn’t hv a job.They struggled to make ends meet. They refused taking help from her parents….again for a reason I wont understand! Anyways..eventually I learnt tht she was pregnant…(uhmm..shes my age..m in collg n shes gona b a momy!)

Shelia aunty asked me if I know how she is doing…if I met her recently…cuz she hadn’t heard from her lately n she was worried.her voice sounded low and I could feel how she longed for her daughter. Her brothers don’t talk about her.i was asked by her not 2 tell aunty abt her pregnancy and so I kept mum. She hung up as this conversation did nothing to soothe her..though I did try to console her!!!

I turned back…only to see a bit of wat was remaining of my candle. I sat beside it in my darkened room…listening to rain fall outside and got thinking abt madhu. A girls life. A daughters life. Its so much like my candle!! U take all the efforts to make it. Make it as beautiful as u can. U know u want it to light the world. To enlighten the world.but before u realize…shes not only lighting the world…but loosin herself…melting…melting in to the world. Meshing into it…loosing her self…

dhoom machale dhoom machale dhoom!!

Never hv i hated a song more than "dhoom " today. it was my xam tode..the first 1. as it is m sufferin 4m some f*n viral watever.my 1st xam 2de..poor subject..poor books....ignored thru out d year ..only 2 b scanned n rescanned n rescanned...a de..a night..few hrs...n few mints. before the xam. i kept studyin laaaaaaaate till night yest. as a result..i hv deeeeeeeep wells under my eyes.
I was pretty nervous as ppl kept pourin me wid "clearin CS in an attempt is difficult"! neways..i reached my centre where my sis-frd was waitin 4 me wid best o luck gifts..aah..some relief..she made me a lil easy..but i was still chokin on d inside...half cuz o nervousness n the rest cuz o the fu***n infection.v talked a bit while i glanced thru my books and odr complacent students ard. "sab padha?" i asked sheepishly.... "hahahaha wat a joke" .. was d reply. but d nervousness behind the hahaha was pretty obviously palpable in all their faces.
It was time..n v started to walk up d stairs ..remindin me o bhagat singh..rajguru..wat was d third guys name? (shit i hate myself 4 not rem.!) tryin 2 hold myself ...i climbed d stairs while my sis-frd payal kept sayin stuff in my ear..most of it consisted of best o luck...boy i told her i needed luck! n so was glaaaaad. v kept climbin n suddenly trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr some f* siren rung tht almost got me a cardiac arrest. v later found out tht it was som factory signal. mutterin all sorts a words under our breath ..v reached d hall.

got the question paper. was glad its contents looked familiar.took a deep breath n started 2 rite..while in my mind--karchale hum fida jaano tan saatthiyon---question 1 ..some thinkin n bingo..quest 2..business ethics...business ethics..umm ummm n suddenly ishq ishq karna hai karle! hell wat on earth was tht!??! oh nothin...the "frendly" invigilator n his f*n fone...tht ensured tht v ver all awake n kickin. it must hv rung ard a dozen times! everytime i wud think of some nice words...i wud b forrced to think of tata young dancin over Abis baby!!!

concentration test...was it??

ps; n 4 those of u caring 1s who r wonderin how my xam was....my xam was gud...but yaar xam to acha hi jaata hai..saala result hi dhoka de jaata hai...hehe .jokes apart it was gud.

Three Red Roses...

The horizon was clear and looked like the most puuuurfect painting of the lord.The clear blue hues merging into the orangish tints of the sun…struggling hard to break through the blue cascade.Pratibha luved the site of the rising sun.The fresh wind flowing through her hair felt so good! She stood leaning to her bedroom door attatched to the green terrace. Feelin the wind caress her face.. staring at the orange ball sprouting outta the glowing sky.she closed her eyes. Breathing in the freshness the new day brought to her.this was the best part of her day..while most of us would crib about getting up so early, it was an absolute delight for her! Her pale skin now glowing in the fresh breezes she enjoyed the first moments of a day.Suddenly.. her serene expression was disturbed ..just like the sudden appearance of ripples do to the peace of a lake.She opened her eyes..only to find a grey sky with lotts a clouds thundering…warning to pour! Even before she cud realize wat was happenin,it began to drizzle!!she broke into a smile and looked up wid such contentment n happiness towards the sky..The First showers!!They were always special to her …for they reminded her of him..he who had twinkle in his eyes..he, who wid his impish smile melted her! He ,whose stare wud sweep her off her feet!! The trickle of the first drops on her tender skin reminded her of his touch..Nikhil! They had met during college..the des of recklessness when everything was casual. She still remembered how they had met on a rainy de…when she was desserted alone during a storm n he had offered her a lift.Though studying in the same college, they had never shared anything before tht de..except for admiring glances.It was then tht their liaison began. Nither of them knew wat it was..but they knew it was special! She remembered riding bikes in the rain..eating icecreams..getting absolutely drenched in the rain and…aaaannnnnnnchhhhu!! Falling ill wid flu! It was all so vivid..it was asif she was transferring to the past!!
Suddenly she gained a -lighting struck-expression and ran inside..she reached to the closet and opened the drawers. There lay in her most cherished treasure boxes..three withered roses with petals barely hanging ..she smiled as she opened the note tht lay there..”three roses to say I LOVE YOU” .the letters were hardly read-able and m sure only she cud make sense and decipher tht handwriting!! Half of it had faded cuza time and the other half..cuz it was handed it to her on a rainy day by him..she smiled n it was hard to comprehend if she was cryin..cuz her face was already wet!! She was compeletly lost in her thoughts when –a knock at the door—pulled er outta the nostalgic journey.she dried her face and ran towards her bedroom door.


She pulled open n was surprised to find no one. Just as she was getting back in..she noticed the three roses sitting pretty on her enter mat andan envelope enclosed.she almost skipped a beat!! She cudnt believe wat she saw! She almost believed she was hallucinating. She stood numb on the door ,staring at wat was there but her mind was in abyss for sure! Just then.. a lil hand pulled her . “momy !! cmon.. open it!!” he mush hv had to shake her atleast a dozen times before she realized he was there. In a state of semi conscious state she kneed down so as to match heights wid her son..”momy open it!” he said. Handing it to her. She opened it . three red roses glistening in water . they were fresh!! The letter just like hers..was half washed away..she cudnt believe wat was happening!wid trembling hands she opened the letter n saw the same old words…”I luv u” she gasped!! It was 5 years since he was gone! Gone forever! Just then her lil boy hugged her n wishin- "happy moms de" he whispered faintly " it was all i managed to get due to the rains".. she held him tight wid tears flooding her and whispered "u r just like ur dad my lil son!"

From Her To Him

The memories u gave me..the ones tht r in my heart...continue 2 replenish my soul n water my heart.the intense feel is becomin more n more palpable evry second..n im loosing myself every moment.they say”getting lost” is a negative term...wonder y it doesnt seem to me.or maybe those ignorant people aint aware of the beauty of getting lost.getting lost in u...getting lost in love..in desire..in faith!
It is like living wid a soul..sharing urself wid sum1.ur in my thoughts all de ur long..its like the sun shines just 2 remind us of—us. The moon glistens just 2 remind us of our nites under iton the beach.the rains pour down only 2 bring back the taste of the icecreams to my mouth..drenching in the rain!every time the cuckoo sings, I know u hv asked him 2 serenade me. Every time the windy brezze caresses me..i know its u whisperin careless whispers..ur sweet nothings into my ears..i was ur princess and u my knight in the shining armour!

Its been 3 years now luv since v parted..but still u r so much a part of me! I luv u for all tht u r to me..for all tht u hv dunn for me..for all tht u hv been to me..for the three roses u wud alays giv 2 me n say I luv u…..for the late nite calls just 2 say I luv u calls…..for waking me early during my xams even if u had had a beatin day……and I luv u for leaving when u knew I had to gett mrrd to sumone else. I can still see ur moist eyes..my face glistening in them as v parted.luv, u hv made my life beautiful . u hv given to it a new meaning. I know wherever u r u r thinking of me as well. Thku luv 4 luvin me so unconditionally. So truly. So honestly.i luv u 4ever. --just then suddenly outa nowhere her hubby appears asking her 4 his breakfast. She wipes a tear or two..and wid a smile heads 2wards the kitchen…the whole of her de gets over juggling between kitchen..her 2 year old baby and her hubby(whose a baby himself-like most of u men?)—

Finally in the late evening she gets back 2 where she left… Luv.. sometimes I repent not doing things tht luvrs do. I repent not letting u touch me..not letting u try the one more last time to convince my parents..well..i just wish u r fine ..n tht u too ,like me ,hv a family of ur own..a wonderful kid..n.a…..spouse..
PS; i hv seen most of the indian women do this. sacrificing their teenage luv 4 their hubbies n end up being the house maid. mayb 2de d times r changing but still, u cud say this is the story of an average indian wife. wat say all u shaadi-shudaas??

..love never ends..

Love Never Ends Roses were her favorites As this story goes, And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said "Be My Valentine", like all the years before. Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year", than last year on this day. My love for you will always grow, with every passing year." She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear. She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away. He always like to do things early, way before the time Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase, then, sat the vase beside the portrait of "his" smiling face. She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair, While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting thereA year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate, With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. Then the very hour, as on Valentines before, The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door. She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock, Then went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him if he would explain, Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain? "I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," the owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know" The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance, Your Husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance. There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance You'll get them every year. There also is another thing, that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card... he did this years ago. Then, should ever I find out, that he's no longer here, that's the card ... that should be sent, to you the following year. She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard, Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card. Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote... Hello My Love" I know it's been a year since I've been gone, I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome. I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real, Or if it was the other way, I know how 'I' would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, You were the perfect Wife. You were my friend and lover, You fulfilled my every need, I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears, That is why the roses will be sent to you for many years. When you get these roses, Think of all the happiness that we had and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will, But, my love you must go on, you have some living still. Please...try to find happiness, While living out your days, I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, When your door's not answered When the Florist stops to knock. He will come five times that day, In case you have gone out, But after his "last visit" He will know without a doubt To take the roses to the place Where I've instructed him, And place the roses where we are Together once again ....

..of rising rapes wid rising hemlines..

Rising hemlines n dropping necklines....a fashion statement these des!! Open the newspaper n on pg 1 u hv cases of rape. Rape in Delhi..rape in Agra..our own country’s daughters r raped brutally ..n wats more,even foreign tourists 2 India hv not been saved!! If this remains the case..the tourism of our country is surely going to suffer! Crime against women hv always been a very part n parcel of our country. Be it dowry deaths, rapes,female infanticide,foeticide, and what not. And all this happens in r country-bharat “MA”. In a land where women r worshipped in the form of kaali and durga!! This very fact is enough 2 emphasis on the sorry state of affairs of our country. It is said a women is the worst enemy of a women. N the situation 2de leaves me wid no other option but to believe in this common sayin!! Open the page 3 of the very same newspaper n u find famous celeb-gurls posin in semi nude clothing. A look at them n 1 cud think they were raped-lookin at the tattered clothes ! These semi-clad women ,proudly flaunting around their assets, do nothing,but titilliate the testetorone levels of the men. Now since these semi-clad beauties r outta the range 4 these men,the common girl next door walking down the street falls a prey! While commiting many a sexual crimes, the criminal has in mind the ...fleshy clevage poppin outaa Mallikas skkkkkimpy top, the slender legs of yana gupta..n the string patiesof shefali zariwala n wat not! The careless n “1 minute of fame” acts for these women..change the whole lives of the other! Wenever a crime is commited, many a question r raised abt the dressing style of the women. I do agree tht at some level women encourage these crimes..but its hardly the girls who r victimised! U never see your girl next door wearin a backless top. I am a college student myself and observing my college culture i can say tht most girls are very conscious abt wat they wear.the girls who encourage crimes like thses r either the show-girls OR the once belonging to the rich section of the society. However, the victims of such crimes are usually from not the very well to do families or the middle class common girl wo walks down the road every evening..amidst embarrasing comments from the group of boys available like dust-particles at the “nukaad”.. Only if women behave responsibly n ensure tht they maintain their own dignity for the sake of the whole fraternity of women, can these crimes be slightly cotrolled!

Rheas Rape??

Rhea was a small town girl with big dreams.stars in her eyes,hope in her heart..she aimed high.Waiting at the bus stop,she again got lost in her flight of thoughts... tht fled across whims n fancies..fantasies n notions.she wanted everything.she wanted the seventh sky in her lil fist.she kept staring at the water that got logged in the small pits the road had.with each raindrop that pittered n pattered off the sky..the water formed ripples.....giving her thoughts a zoom and her flight became more exciting.a lawyer is what she always dreamt of being..a homemaker of a beautiful home..!her dreams knew no bounds.the beautiful ripples on the water surface gave seemed to excite her so much..giving her thoughts n her dreams so much more depth.the satisfaction was palpable on her face.the rhythm of raindrops..their soft tune..and a thousand blended notes in her heart..all made the sight so very divine!at 15 ,her face had the glow of a mature young lady ready to hit the world.her face dripped the contentment that her thoughts brought to her under the mesmerizing ripple effect.daaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssshhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! she shook up when a car passed thru her splashing all the water..making all the ripples disappear.it was like a reality check 4 her n she came back to her own good self..recalling she was waiting for her bus.

She looked around and became perplexed! it was already 7 n getting dark..she started to panic now as thr was not a soul to be spotted on the streets..except for the car whose tail lights she could see speeding away.. the whole area looked like it had vaccumed humans n she felt like she was in mars! fighting her tears hard, she started to walk towards the near by local booth. Infact, it seemed like her feet had grown wings n she was running a marathon.

Just as she approached the booth, happy to reach her much needed awaited destination...a hand tapped at her back . she was soo scared that this was it! she could not control her tears anymore and started to cry!! too scared to even raise her eyes and look up.. "hey Rhea"..the voice was familiar..yet it failed to sooth her. she gathered her guts and looked up. it was Ramesh. Dads colleague...commonly known as a "moron" in their family. crying she carried a blank expression. "oh lil girl left out in the cold!!" he said wid tht famous moronic grin."dunn worry i will drop u home". .he said as his hand rested on her back...comforting her...she now was almost trembling with fear .. all the cases livened in her mind...Mathura, DU college student, Dhananjoy.. scared she dared to look up once and oh god! he even resembled Dhananjoy..shes so scared and lost that she trips over..

Back home everyone is worried. all the males r out searching for their luved daughter. The women half weeping,are calling up at her friends places..dreading all sorts of mishappenings.Near the telephone lay the newspaper..full of rape cases!! Just then the door bell rings. its her. Rhea...in tattered clothes and muddy face. Her mother almost faints seeing what she dreaded. shes crying. so is rhea. She jumps into her mothers embrace..when the door opens broader. its him. Ramesh uncle with her skool bag. "dunn worry..ur lil girl is fine.. i saw her tensed and so i brought her back. safe and sound. ..Oh n she tripped over the pot hole n hurt hurself. shes just slightly bruised m sure ..soon shell b fine."
=
Weeping her mother thanks him.."u r god for us" she tells him."rhea, go say thankyou to uncle ramesh" she says wiping her tears. Rhea walks up to him and touches his feet..thankyou..(feeling terribly embarrased and ashamed for her thoughts) . He flashed a smile....wat once, was called a "moronic grin" !

PS: in days like these..can any girl help but to think tht way?? the story does seem to hv an ironical ending ..considering the present circumstances.,no?

Eternal Love..

Eternal Luv..

The moonlight gleamed over her face,

on the beautiful moonlit night,

and made her diamond face sparkle,

with that ever youthful radiance.

She lay on the bed holding my hand,

reminding me of the first time she lay here several decades ago.

Though no inhibitions in her eyes now,

the look of peace on her angel face was the same,

her now-silver locks serenely highlighted by the the moon’s glow.

Tightening her grip on my hand, with great effort did she speak,

effort that disturbed her serene face like the ripples from a stone that disturbs the peace of a lake.

“Thank you,” she whispered in a low voice, “for loving me so selflessly.”

Her eyes turned moist saying, “you made my life so worth living!”

“Ur touch has been so healing!!”

“Every morning was made beautiful cuz u were next 2 me.”

“Every night was comforting in the sweet embrace o thine.”

“Thank you for all that u have done to bathe my life in your love’s shine.”

My eyes welled up but I managed to break a smile,

just like the sun tearing away between the clouds.

I held her hand with the other one of mine,

like the first time we held our little baby.

She gasped...a tear trickled down her eye,

she struggled for breath while I held her tight.

I could see she was giving death a tough fight...

“I love u forever,” I managed 2 say--

it was like she was waiting 2 hear just that--

for next she smiled and went away.

Thinking of that day makes me weak and strong,

and how maybe my saying “I love you” was wrong.

Maybe she would have lived a little longer,

but the wait would have made the pain so much stronger.

And so I don’t mind saying it again,

“I love u my darling”, over n over again!!

Red Hues.

Its amazing. This life.These emotions.This spirit.This feel, the soul. Its amazing the way we wana fly sometimes.. while sometimes dig n rest in our own graves.. How sometimes, the whole world is our family.. while sometimes even we arent our own. These tears speak so much.. of happiness and joy.. of melancholy and sorrow.Sometimes one wants to grow up, feel FREE... and other times, just be a baby,resting in bliss..So many shades of life.. The strongest one, RED.
When the world is mine, the aura is Red. When i disown myself, the view is Red.
When the baby is born, he is Red. When we die, the flames are Red.
When he looks at me, my cheeks turn RED..
When he looks at her, i turn RED.
The roses i love are Red..
When they prick me... RED.
Red hues in this life, ineveitable, life is red.